do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
