so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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