i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I am one with the molecules
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
