38 yer olds are good kisserssss
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
