i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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