No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
