Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
