I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize