I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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