I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
