She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
