also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
