yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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