On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
