Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
