Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
