He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i think my cat just said my name.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
