Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
