"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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