dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
