i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
