I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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