dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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