Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
