Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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