Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
