I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
