Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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