Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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