party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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