Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
