I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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