Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize