I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
