No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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