Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
