i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
