another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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