garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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