1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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