I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
