We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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