lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
