OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I am available for nakedness
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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