Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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