Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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