idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
