just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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