If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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