Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
