Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
