i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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