I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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