He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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