Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
