Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
