He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
