she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
