I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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