I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
