a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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