Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
