Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
