Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
