So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Do you still have your period?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
