Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
