We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
worst night to have a conscience
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
