She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So much rum. So many feels.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
