one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My pussy is not your playground.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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