Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
