Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize