Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
