there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
