If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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