Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
In America we eat man semen.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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