I bet he comes in French.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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