No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
