Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize