so explain again why im purple
no
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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