feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
