tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize